LYRICS Where should I start telling tales from this heavy heart 2nd of November 1998 or the second time my mother tried to end it cus the pain wouldn’t subside see I’ve been born 2 times where should I start when I’ve never had nothing to begin with but I guess that’s why they call it humble beginnings sick of doing shit from scratch and getting nothing back that’s nothing new in the past ignorance is bliss I knew nothing that little something couldn’t last as time past I got more rattled by these battle scars some were self inflicted tryna stretch an inch into a mile ignored my intuition peace of mind I was tail chasing mine kid was over thinking didn’t know there’s nothing to this life where should I start naive boy with bright plans pristine soul just a bystander to see himself get walked over a time lapse of his worst moments introverted with a loud mouth that’s a bad omen inadvertently lost all doubt he was once hopeful it’s all jokes till the last laugh lucky me I got a bad hand ugly scenes in my city pretty bad couple fiends in the alleys picking scabs no love lost looking for a plan ducking karma I was Ill advised image in my eyes of my demise I cracked violence inside sirens outside strange boy straight out the northside no for sight no chance so lemme start

Nothing left for the gods to give god forgive me I’m lost again here sitting with these thoughts again bottles empty when they tempt me couple sips and I felt free still standing on unsteady legs a heavy head giving me neck pains next day I’ll be the same jumped in a bottle cus I thought it could sustain but left nothing behind but bloody red stains a blank memory and a bad new day lost to my ways like so many others hand on my heart cus nobody loves us scars all around from times I got low smile on my face but inside it’s cold that warm embrace ya feel is not so I’d say that I lost it but I never had hope there's something in the water the body of a pauper the banshee is calling with her I must go lost to my ways like so many others hand on my heart cus nobody loves us laughter dies down tears soon follow when the drink dries up get drunk from the sorrow cry to the birds and the bees and swallows cry cus the earth beneath my feet feels hollow cry with the wind when it wails on the Morrow cry just to cry then cry tears of sorrow hand on my heart cuz nobody loves down on my luck getting comfy in the gutter no helping hand ever help me to stand I’m a wretched man born bred for a struggle catch a break that’ll be the day the going gets easy I see no trouble so wish good fortune on the unfortunate when it rains it pours and clouds don’t pass

LYRICS I don’t like myself too much I don’t want what’s best for my health I don’t got no plans dunno why I keep to myself cus I don’t like people so leave me alone I’m grand I got shit that’s stressing me out everyday and I don’t get paid enough for these raps everybody wanna chat mad shit about me but don’t say shit when it comes right back that’s funny lads a dummy Humpty Dumpty when I leave him where’s he’s left at with his egg cracked never see me with a setback just to step back when they say their the best nah I don’t get that pissed off with a pen better chop both hands barbaric plus im Irish I’m just saying I’m both Conans been doing this shit since 98 being a piece of shit man there's a price to pay up all night I been putting in the work since none of them gave me the time of day empty belly no food in the fridge rain came down quick when the roof came in I don’t got no future things look bleak so I drink most days man shits intense I remember the quotation mark good old days but I been troubled from the start god knows it’s been hard tryna keep this faith I’d rather be dead and buried with a curse then try live this way it’s funny when I hear them laugh at my expense but I don’t think they would if they only knew the price I pay tryna figure out myself still up for debate give a fuck about validation from opinions of people I hate maybe I’m too cautious never made moves weighing up my problems sleep all day on the couch got no ambitions just wishes and a crumpled up bucket list fuck it things been going downhill so much I fall back on being self destructive as a crutch cus I know it’s easier to give up then get up not knowing who’s a friend somebody you can trust it’s all good till they figure out why the bigger the smaller the frame you sick of the snakes disguised in plain sight nothing to do where I’m from except watch the paint dry

LYRICS In the name of so and so we could come to blows settle scores I could take your soul life Is war pen is sword express myself but can’t help myself anymore self sabotage at a loss laughing stock see his flaws then put him down he’s too proud speaking foul teach him how ignorance is bliss innocence is bliss I grew up too fast for me life came quick young and dumb and ugly scummy as it gets bummy as it gets stubborn should of quit stomaching some shit I been through I seen the big truth nobody saves you from shit audit how I live preach about my sins profit from the squalor laugh at my misfortune Treat me as you do fear me as you should keep me from your view too afraid to look crumbs penny’s bumbs lusting for a few pity’s not enough but I can’t pick and choose wish I had some luck stuck inside a slump once upon a time I had the time to waste melancholy days empty promises empty stomach out of date on my plate chasing tails never good enough fuck a compromise I’ll keep fucking up paralysed from the mind down point of view is similar to rain clouds shit is grey piss away a privilege still the same kid that got the shit kicked out him every day nothing changed cept I fight back now they don’t like that

LYRICS Misplaced my heart too many times to count lost parts of me never again to be found dedicated to the pity it consoles me well self hate cus love left along with the ringing of the bells couple a screws unloose in my head couple of times almost tied that knot on the noose wrapped round my neck plenty of times stepped off that school had regrets melancholy she sings to me sweet with misery in her voice beckoning me to that hellish place that never seen god's light and sometimes I pursue but other times I’m on the brew passing by my time Misplaced my heart too many times to count distrust myself whenever she comes round with her talk of torment and talk of death with a smile that lies and her eyes that tell tales that weave sadness around me but I guess I’m a lesser man I guess I’m a desperate man for some peace of mind I so need to pay the cost is not cheap but the smell of sorrow it reeks and lingers on too long so I pour myself another drop and start singing all these songs cus most days I’m weak and sometimes I’m strong but most days I spend my time writing all these wrongs

LYRICS Smokey days came then exhaled Shakey ground had me pulling weight Trips around estates I weren’t keen to stay but if peer pressure hears your name called you don’t have a say And if the shades call you don’t say your name And if them lights flash then we taking chase go head and light that smoke until your brains That’s the tone of my home it’s all Hopeful dreams of getting outta life alive Unholy schemes utilized to try survive Get out the dirt easy nah you’d be surprised cus when golds in the soil it’s so hard to say goodbye Once more to be a fool walking school through the foggy dew dumb know it all flying blind stop peeking out that window mind your business close them blinds Parasites been sucking blood I’m pale white like the sky I’m conflicted in this life good heart but bad intentions I’m afflicted by my times Fucks a job role models not about got left behind excuse excuses but I plead play the victim pay the price Laughing crying silent I’m addicted to the lies I’m too spiteful breaking bread forgiveness shit is not my style came out the womb with a chip on my shoulder my demise my oh my Father drinking mother crying night time lullabies what am I paying for praying for better times heavy eyes steady hands waiting way more happy days never came anyways nothing changed vacate from myself on my heart there’s a strain what am I paying for praying for better times heavy eyes steady hands waiting way more happy days never came anyways nothing changed vacate from myself on my heart there’s a strain

LYRICS Sitting here in an empty room full a cigarette smoke and deadly fumes exhaling the last bit of life in my lungs as I grab for a glass of that sweet brown stuff as I sip it gently and it burns my throat hear the ghost tiptoeing round my body so cold looking back on some things I’ve done Misery’s a common thread in this tale I’ve spun temptations one thing I couldn’t overcome damnation where I’m headed I could of had it won if god gave me some luck coulda had a good run numbing pain as per usual I’m used to the hung heads shameful and weathered by the strain always need something to fill a void wouldn’t believe what I’ve seen shook to the core behind these closed doors bloody decor struggle poor with pride story’s told passed down these bloodlines the older minds advice was always to keep it check wiser heads never prevailed got cut at the neck the lash of the tongue couldn’t cut us naive to the threats ignorance was the crest worn bad days were intense melancholy bittersweet better off with less make do with nothing my own heart I neglect It feels like these 4 walls closing in on me fast it feels like my names next to get engraved on a slab I complain but I’m told just talk about the way things are it might help with the pain but I pour my heart out it still beats to this day shed so many tears nobody sees that it’s all in vain who am I to say I got it bad the next man had nothing but a rope or a bottle of pills sees no other options too many problems tip the scales now the family stands over the grave black clothes and red roses in the rain I’m not the type to pray but I really hope god does have a plan it’s like every couple months someone too young to die takes their life now this shits getting outa hand plus there's nothing to do where I’m from except sip from a glass watch pain dry or talk shit with the lads even though we don’t admit it each other is all we have whenever our luck was down we told each other it’s grand but it’s not people all around us start to drop wanna make it out my city god I hope I don’t flop cus I got nothing going for me round here and the view looks depressing from down here I don’t feel proud here man somethings gotta give sick of scraping the bottom of the barrel for these bits

LYRICS Lest I become happy gotta sabotage things for myself gladly banshee in a glass that’s sweet big things on my mind can’t sleep can’t bear anymore responsibly too much pressure giving me a head rush and my friends notice that I haven’t said much and these scars say more than my words could and my heart beats hard for some lost love I’m an inside out type so numb some say so what that’s life duh but things don’t seem so simple to me invest myself into toxic things I’m a lost cause what’s the cost of living to please I’d bleed to be anybody but me the blood on my hands is my blood the blood on my scars is my blood the blood on my mind is my blood the blood on my feet is my blood the blood on my genes is my blood the blood of defeat the blood of defeat (2x)

LYRICS You ever feel like you’re always low you ever feel like your always cold you ever feel like your worthless everything seems hopeless tell me where it all went wrong I’m still tryna figure out myself I made some mistakes I’ll never forget but they won’t let me move on feels like I’ll die young tell me where I lost myself Once was a degenerate had no goals in life blood cold from strife mind numb to go with it wasn’t dumb just ignorant there’s a difference your missing it product of his surroundings his environment wasn’t privileged talking tough was mandatory to the kid his mouth got him into trouble that he should of dipped his pride pushed him into struggles that he coulda missed couple cuts and bruises he was used to cus he’s numb as shit eww people say he’s crazy that he got a couple screws loose up in his head but he know none of that is true another lost soul he was looking for the truth thought he found it in a bottle till the bottle took his youth now nothings been the same since the one that got away self deprecation couldn’t mend the heart break now he’s at the bottom of the barrel down on his luck stuck between a rock and hard place And if tomorrow never comes tears of sorrow gonna run down the cheeks of the peeps that felt sorry for the bum he was too weak to ever be a good father to his son nobody blame him he was always a victim of his ways wallowing in self pity he was always on the run from himself tail chasing no prayed coulda saved him salvation was a stretch damnation he was booked for could afford nothing less tension in the rope swinging tied around his broken neck lacked conviction never had attention shown to him an afterthought in the mind of those that’s known to him now he’s a human chandelier swinging at room temperature never assume something better could come to him soon the side effects of living life like

LYRICS Bless me god when you test me I been less of a man since shit got tough Check me when I get empty when this heads heavy and I feel like life’s too tough bless me devils they tempt me tryna convince me your the one that’s crooked been walking this desert looking for you come quench my thirst down and out nobody knows you when you're down and out loud and proud I’m shouting out fuck anybody than me just me and myself bad company so it’s fuck life till death comes for me gonna cut ties lest you got love for me Paleboy got the vision day ones stay committed the pay off coming quick when i said what I said ya it is what it is I got plans for my family struggling I got mad dreams of us living untroubled by the things that had us in fear I’m a humble king nothing lavish round here knockadali on death's door I don’t got no fear fuck an apology no I am not sincere do what you wanna do I don’t got no care don’t come around here acting like you been there from the start when you’ve licked your last arse and got nowhere hand on my heart you are not in here devils in my ear talk shit but now shits clear gods got me im good got lots you need to hear Slick with the words that I spit from a verse the first time I wrote some shit it was back in 2013 same time I was slacking never in school outside I was snapping social workers tryna take me away but godknows wasn’t gonna let that happen I don’t got time to be waiting for none all my life been patient hoping one day shit might change for the best but I’m 22 now and shits looking hopeless drinking smoking sleeping waking up each day to go through the motions pleasure with pain I pay through the nose measure my worth with silver and gold both of which I got none of is it enough that I’m getting by nothing in the fridge is edible I’m past the point of giving a shit about rap if the cash is light and they say be grateful for the roof over your head but that shit caved in aswell sometimes I don’t feel so swell long nights getting no sleep cold sweats past mistakes cause me some regrets thoughts weigh heavy on my head stand unsteady on my legs many old friends went downhill ever since then I been looking for a one way ticket all expenses paid get away from the city that raised me hateful thoughts wanna bother me daily bless me god when you test me I been less of a man since shit got rough check me when I get empty when this heads heavy and I feel like life’s too tough bless me devils they tempt me tryna convince me your the one that’s crooked been walking this desert still looking for you come quench my thirst